Week 2, Day 6: Do some more dishes

I'm scaling back the dishes reminders to once a week instead of twice. Ideally, we'll get to the point where we're doing dishes regularly as a habit, but for right now I think doing one or two loads on a designated dishes day (I am obsessed with alliteration lately!) should be enough to stem the tide and keep them under control.
If you can see your way toward doing a quick touch up of other things, so much the better.

Achievement: Have you tamed your tupperware?

Week 2 Day 5: Wash your sheets

It's so hard to remember to wash sheets - I'm confident that's the dirty (literally and figuratively) secret that we all hold near to our hearts. So round 'em up and wash 'em. Comforters, quilts, bottom sheets, middle sheets... also couch slipcovers, if you have them and they'll fit.

Achievement: While you're at it, complete a (mostly) unrelated but helpful task: find all your socks. You heard (read?) me. I'm absent minded and somehow socks turn up everywhere: the kitchen, the bottom of the stairs, the bathroom, under stuff, inside stuff... if you have this problem at all, grab all the socks while you're gathering the sheets, and wash them, too.

Or put them away if they're clean, but that seems unlikely. If you do this, you may notice that your house looks a lot cleaner; like throwing away scraps, it's the little things that make a big difference! Plus you'll get karma points with the Laundry Cardinal for gathering the flock.

Trivia: Laundry Cardinals work on a karma based system, instead of a tithing system. Although I guess real Cardinals don't do the tithing thing anymore either? My information seems to be several hundred years out of date.

They also have really deformed thumbs, but like to give thumbs-ups anyway.

Week 2 Day 4: Sort Yer Swag

Riddle: How is a raven like a writing desk?
Answer: Forever unknown. In all likelihood there isn't one, except maybe something unfunny like "they both usually have legs," or "Edgar Allen Poe is associated with both."

Riddle: How is a magpie like a pirate?
Answer: They both love shiny stuff.

As you can see, although my riddle isn't very funny, it does have exactly one definitive answer. Therefore, I am a superior writer in every way. Deal with it, Lewis Carroll. 

That's right.

Ahem. Now that we're done admiring my literary prowess, we come to something that every messy person has: swag. Also known as plunder, booty (though usually in the context of really bad jokes), treasure, and probably "pirate crack."

Be it jewelry, a bottle cap collection, an unruly mess of cables, or something else entirely, I'm confident you have some. I have lots of unruly collections, but the worst is the jewelry. I don't even wear jewelry most of the time; the only reason I remember to wear a nose ring and one earring is because they're the ones that are permanently affixed to my body even when I'm sleeping. Plus the one earring thing is reasonably pirate-y, come to think of it.

Anyway, I still like jewelry. I have a rather large number of small boxes/chests of tangled chains and mismatched earrings, because dangit, they're so pretty, and sometimes I do have a reason to wear a bracelet or necklace or even a ring, so I'd better keep 15 of each around for those occasions, right?

So periodically, I have to go through and untangle everything and return the conglomerate of stuff into organized boxes or hang them up on a board. You know, necklaces with necklaces, bracelets with bracelets, earrings with earrings. It's kind of a pain, but otherwise when I actually want to wear a necklace, it takes an hour to untangle the one I want from all the other ones that I don't want at that moment.

Dramatic Re-enactment

 


The other thing I have is sewing supplies. But that's just too much to organize right now. What I chose to focus on instead was staying in the whole "untangling" vein. Which meant: thread! I had a whole box of miscellaneous thread. And also 3 boxes of straight pins. The thread and pins came from my mom, who cleaned out her closet by passing along all manner of useful clutter to me. I am definitely grateful for the stuff, since my budget is zero, but had to spend some time organizing, as I talked about the other day.

Finally, cables. Take a few minutes and untangle them. For cables that I don't move frequently, I like to zip-tie or twist-tie related ones at intervals. For example, the computer cable and the speaker cable; zip tie them together and keep them straight and separated from other cables!

Bonus: label them like this if you still have any plastic tabs laying around from Tuesday. That way you know what to unplug. Genius, I tell you.

It's amazing how a small amount of organizing makes me feel so productive!

Achievement: approach the tangled cables and/or chains carefully, for they may have developed a taste for human flesh during their long imprisonment.

Dramatic Re-enactment, Part the Second.

And no one wants to admit to having been defeated by their booty. Someone else's maybe, but not your own. (Hey. I warned you about the bad jokes already. It's your own fault.)

Battle them Swag Monsters bravely!

Day 3, Week 2: Wipe down your appliances.

So you've been cooking healthy meals a little more often lately, right? Practicing, getting over the recipe rules? Maybe you've had a potluck in the past week! Who knows? Maybe you're even starting to think about branching out to something intense, like a pot roast! The world is your platter, I bet.

But I also bet your stove is starting to look pretty weathered. No shame in that; I think it's much nicer than a stove that never gets used. That's a sad oven all around. But even the most hardened captain knows that you have to be nice to your underlings, or else they won't work very well. Think about all the villains who get betrayed by their first mate. So many evil plans could have gone through, if only the head honcho would just pause for a bit and say "job well done. I appreciate you."

You can learn from their mistakes! Ok, so it's not quite the same when your henchmen are mostly inanimate. But they still need appreciation now and again to work right. So take a few minutes and wipe down your stovetop, sinks, microwave (inside and out) and counters. Not the fridge though. The fridge gets its own deal.


Achievement: inanimate henchmen have disadvantages, sure, but think about how much you're saving on henchman benefit packages!

In Which we Discuss Storage Options for the Storage Impaired

It's been over a week since an "In Which" post, because I couldn't think of much to talk about other than the daily chores we're doing. But I set up my sewing corner today (I live in a house with many other people. A corner is an AMAZING improvement) and was thinking about storage options. Kind of like the mason jar thing I referenced in one of the other posts.

In case you couldn't tell by now, I am a severely disorganized person. I tend to do things exactly as they strike me; today, the dishes; tomorrow, scrubbing something; then a few days of minor tasks that make you feel like you're doing more than you are. I can't follow a specific, regimented plan. The upshot? I leave a trail of creativity wherever I go. The downshot? Life is really quite difficult in the case of day-to-day living. I feel like I'm not very unusual in this respect, either.

I may be more extreme than many people, though, not really sure; I have this problem where the minute I stop touching something, it no longer exists. If I can't see it, I don't own it. I absolutely will not take the time to hang up clothing unless it is the fanciest of fancy work suits or floor length ballgowns. I can tell you what we talked about at a party a year ago when we met, but even a partial inventory of what I own is impossible.
And I think that's familiar to many people! Not everyone can organize their closet by color. It's ok.

So here's my solution for clothes. It's not perfect, but so far it's been better (and cheaper) than anything I've tried. Huge, clear plastic bins and a permanent marker stating what goes in each bin. My closet set-up looks a little like this:

If you can't read it, they are labelled "tops," "bottoms," and "warm stuff."

 Well, I don't actually have room for them to be spread out like that anymore, now they're on big shelves. But in an ideal world they'd be spread out like that in a closet with no doors. Because I know I'm lazy. I'm so lazy, in fact, that 3 bins is (usually) enough. You may want more; bottoms means socks, underwear, pants, skirts, tights, hose and whatever else. Tops means dresses, shirts and bras. Warm stuff is gloves, jackets, scarves, hats, shawls... warm stuff/outerwear. That way I can just come home and toss stuff into either the wash hamper or the appropriate bin, and the openings are wide enough that I rarely miss. Of course, this only works as long as you don't have too many articles of clothing to fit into the bin. But laziness comes at a price. Besides, it forces you to consolidate!

More storage for visual people:
Well, that mason jar idea that I talked about way back when is a good one. They're clear. But aside from that, a corkboard with straight pins has worked really well for me keeping track of my scissors and thread for sewing, and keeping track of my keys and ID. But it's not enough to just hang important stuff on a corkboard, I've found; it quickly becomes just another surface to stick stuff and forget about it. I use labels for the really important stuff that I need every day, so I don't put anything in that space. I don't label everything in case I get desensitized to labels and start ignoring them, but they work well for the essentials. The miscellaneous cork board looks something like this:

The same principle works really well for sewing storage, though if you have the long, thin variety of spool, it doesn't work as well. You can hang them by putting the straight pins in at an angle, but it's a huge headache. That being said, it's fantastic for 'normal' - small spools and bobbins, as well as scissors and your tape measure. As a huge bonus, it mostly keeps the thread from tangling!

Um. There will be an image here. But I realized that I couldn't really convey what I wanted to convey with a Paint doodle. So I will take a picture and then put it here in a little bit.


For the record, they do make boxes for this purpose. Clear ones. You can get them pretty much anywhere. Some of them even slot into eachother for easy stacking. They work really well for some people, and they might work for me if I had a huge collection of thread, but I personally am too lazy to un-stack a box, find the color I want, take off the lid, and put everything back. When I'm in the creative zone, I just won't do even that much to preserve order. But hey, life's about working with your vices. I mean unique, beautiful qualities.

 Smooth Sailing!

Week 2 Day 2: Trash (and recycling) Tuesday!

So I realized something. Last week I said that Trash (and recycling) Thursday would be alliterative. But that wasn't correct, was it. That’s what I get for trying to be clever. However, I am undaunted. That’s right, no daunt here. Instead I’m just moving it to Trash (and recycling) Tuesday, like it should have been all along. That was easy, wasn’t it. Of course it was, that’s why it’s nice to run your own blog.

Since it is currently Trash (and recycling) Tuesday (how many times can I state that in one post?), and we’re still being slow-and-steady tortoises, you’re going to go and collect all the paper and plastic bits that are lying around being useless. You know the ones. Not a wholesale purge of your 10^th grade science notes, the ones that have all the cool doodles in the margins and your first crush's phone number. Nor all the old birthday and Christmas cards that you never replied to, despite your best intentions. That would be too intimidating for today, methinks. Just go around and notice all the stuff that is in the way – on the floor, underfoot, that sort of thing. The receipts you were going to organize, size tags from clothes that you were thinking about maybe returning last year but didn’t, nasty tissues, that sticky note that you scribbled something important on, but then it got all stepped on and you can't read it, the packaging material from that thing you got in the mail... all that stuff. Don't pick up anything big; we'll do another "bits" day sometime, when we're almost ready to clean the floors (say it isn't so! But we'll get there sometime). For right now, just the stuff that isn't covered by clothes or boxes or furniture. I find when I get the visible bits out of the way, it does a ton for my morale. Tie one handle of a small, empty trash bag (an old shopping bag works great) to your belt loop, if you have one. Or just carry it, if that's easier. Then just go around tossing stuff in, so you don't have to keep going back to the real trash can.

If you’re like me, this may take a while. I’m just going to go until I don’t feel like it anymore, as long as it’s more than 30 minutes worth of actual effort. Unfortunately, the paper and plastic bits in my world have colonized and built a scrap tower that then collapsed into a paper-lanche. Now there is a mountain of rubble where only the origami goats dare frolic.

I think that goat is frolicking...

That was quite the metaphor. I think I boggled my own mind with that one. That's usually a sign to step back, before you start doodling an origami bridge with an origami troll.

Achievement: make an origami goat garland.

Don’t actually do that; the achievement is to resist the urge to make an origami goat garland out of the debris, thus making a bigger mess and procrastinating on what you’re actually trying to accomplish.

Week 2, Day 1: Scrub your sinks (and the dreaded toilet)

Anyone heard of Fly Lady? Neat site, based around a fairy godmother instead of pirates. I like it, though I've never managed to follow the program very well. At any rate, the first thing you do is shine your sink.
Well, it wasn't the first thing we did. But today, it's time to venture into the realm of real fear: seek out and clean all of your sinks and toilets, those lands of dragons and lost souls that we are so tempted to write off as hostile territory, unclaimable by mankind. But fear not my friend. Put on an inspiring album, or an engrossing (heh. enGROSSing) storytape and get to it! Be brave in the face of adversity, like a good pirate, and before you know it, the battle will be won!

Achievement: You know those crazy wand things with the sponges on the end that you can fill with soap? Those are great for washing sinks. Not so much toilets. Get an actual toilet brush for that; you want something with a long handle so the Loch Bowl Monster doesn't climb out and bite you.

My theory is that one of these lives in every toilet. What do they want? Where do they come from? Are they bent on world domination, or are they just misunderstood? The world may never now.

Day 7: Do Absolutely Nothing

That's right. Bask in the progress that you have made. If you make more mess, try and clean it up, but otherwise, don't worry about it. Just sit, chill, have some mimosas (while listening to MiMoSa?), and laugh evilly while pondering how you shall soon be the conqueror and ultimate arbiter of your boat.

Achievement: If other people live in your house, and refuse to clean up after themselves, take heart. Soon, when the decks are gleaming and the galley is scrubbed, you will be able to rule them. Soon.

Day 6: Quick Touch Up

Saturday! If you've managed to drag yourself out of bed at all today, congratulations. You get a reward today! Look around. Notice the progress you've made already.

-Dishes are only in the kitchen, and you've made some progress on the backlog, or you're caught up.
-There's no glass anywhere.
-There's a load of laundry put away.
-You've eaten at least a few good, healthy meals.

Easy, right? Good job, pat yourself on the back if you live in a perfect world!
If not, then you may have noticed a stray beer bottle next to the computer or a dish in the living room. Today, all you have to do is go around and re-gather the glass and dishes. If you can bring yourself to pick up a few articles of clothing (especially if they're clean), then all the better.

Achievement: bask in the glory of the progress you have made. Ignore the stuff that you haven't done yet, that'll come later, but only if you do the maintenance stuff today.

Day Five: Do Laundry. Just the whites.

Thursday Edit: I meant Friday. Last week we did not actually have two Thursdays in a row, to my knowledge. means we need to have a talk about a very serious subject. That subject is laundry. If you're going to clean up after yourself, you must include the stuff on your body. As an added bonus, if your laundry is clean and put away, then your floor will probably be 90% better. However, I can guess that there would be resistance to this concept. How will you maintain your scruffy and disreputable demeanor if you wash your shorts? How will anyone take you seriously as a pirate?

First, stop that. You're probably choosing a different career now. Second, you can always just not shave. Of course if you're female that might lead to some strange looks, depending on location. Both your location and the non-shaving locations. But you don't care, you're a pirate!
Ahem. Back on topic. With sharing time! I have enough socks and underwear and bras to last me... well, it's probably upsetting, so I won't make an estimate. But on the plus side, between me and the Male Compatriot, we have enough undergarments to make a respectable load, especially if we add in sheets (I've heard that's a cardinal laundry sin, but too bad) Before Male Compatriot came along, I did all of my laundry in one load. And I mean all of it. Except wool stuff, that you're supposed to hand wash. Although now that I have a washer that has a no-tumble setting, I ignore that rule too. I commit a lot of laundry sins, basically. The Laundry Cardinal disapproves, but I just remind him of the pirate thing and it's kind of a free pass.

 

This is a Laundry Cardinal (of the Order of the Lost Sock, of course)

...Back to topic again? I think so.
The topic is, gather a load of white laundry and do it. Unless you don't have enough whites, then do it all. This might take a while, but that's ok. I found some stuff I forgot I owned today, which is always nice. Just take 15 minutes and do it. Sock Cardinals aside, you'll feel much better about everything.

Achievement: Can you tell that the Order of the Lost Sock is both a Lost Sock and revere the Sign of the Lost Sock as seen on their necklace thingy (a Catholic I am not). Turns out socks are hard to draw in Paint and that small. Also that Lost Sock Cardinals are quite self-absorbed, revering themselves and judging me for my laundry sins. Jerks.

Day 4: Round up the Glass

Greetings, Slob Pirates! It's Thursday, which I have decided for alliterative reasons shall be Trash (and Recycling) Day. I'm not even sure when the trash guy comes around here... Anyway.
In future weeks (maybe next month?), I'm hoping to have myself all on top of stuff and can just go ahead and take out all the trash and recycling all in one go, but this week it would take all day. If you are for some reason following along, that is probably the case for you too. Today we are tortoise pirates who shall slowly and sneakily win the cleaning race. Or would you prefer slow and sneaky pirate ninjas? TOO BAD, that's a logical impossibility.

This is you.

So, tortoise, what you shall do is go forth and collect glass of all kinds. Well, the used kind, mainly. If your area recycles, recycle! We're pirates, not ruffians. Mine doesn't, sadly. At any rate, gather up all the glass containers you can find and dispose of them. Easy task for today, right?

...Right...

Achievement: It will be tempting to stuff as many bottles and jars into your arms as possible, but, like Icarus, the higher you climb, the faster you will fall. Reach for glory, but do not overstep yourself, or you will know the heart stopping sound of your aspirations shattering on the deck.
P.S. Did you know that some vacuum cleaners take glass shards, turn them into high velocity mini-daggers, and shoot them in all directions, usually right into your vulnerable foot?

Now you do.

Day 3: Do Another Load of Dishes.

Avast mateys, and all that. It’s Wednesday, so you should do another load of dishes. In fact, henceforth, Wednesday shall be dishes day, most likely. Unless I forget.
Having a dishes day will be useful once we're on top of the dishes; you should do your dishes diligently (gweh heh.) anyway, but a reminder to catch up would be good.
So! What makes Wednesday dishes different from Monday dishes is this: a treasure hunt!
And by “hunt” I mean “gather,” and by “treasure” I mean “all the nasty leftover dishes that are strewn about the boat.”
Let's get to it! Put on your best pirate bandana. Yes, it does make things better, because you feel like a badass. You could put on an eye patch, but that is not recommended. Especially if you have more than one deck on your boat - if you fall down the stairs, everyone will laugh, and you won’t be able to sue because this is a disclaimer.

It's official. So don't do it.

Anyway. Go round up all those dishes you set down in your room or forgot in the bathroom (we don’t judge around here. Ok, yes we do, but we try not to let you know about it) or on top of the washing machine, or use to feed your domestic mammal. Put those in the dishwasher!
Achievement: If your dishwasher is full, run it. If not… put the mammal bowl back, he/she/it will probably need that. And then pat yourself on the back, you’re already on top of your dishes! You probably don’t even need to be reading this blog because you’re already clean. Or else you just don’t own many dishes, that’s fine too.

Achievement: Hunt and gather every last dish. Even the tupperware-style containers. Yes, the ones that have grown fuzz as you desperately try to forget about them. Those might take some hunting. Bring a net, in case they shoot glowing balls of energy at you.

Happy Hunting!

Day 2: Cook a good meal

Quiz: Do you like Ramen? (Are you the correct demographic to be reading this blog?)

Strange how a soup comprised of noodles, water, and artificial flavoring has become such a stereotype. It's gotten to the point where it's synonymous with "lazy college kid" or perhaps just "college kid." I'm sure hipsters will be shunning it any day now. Or maybe it's too deeply ingrained to shun, and they'll just start using PBR as broth and call it gourmet.

Recipes for gourmet Ramen abound, like 100 Awesome Ramen Recipes for Starving College Students. See! College and Ramen go together like limes and scurvy. Which is to say, they're associated with one another, but the relationship is quite skewed.

A quick skim through isn't hugely inspiring. For example, if I had the money to buy mussels and steam them, I probably wouldn't pair them with Ramen. And why put spaghetti sauce on Ramen when you can buy a package of real noodles for a dollar and get four servings? I do like the idea of using them as those crunchy noodles you get from Chinese places though...

Anyway, this post isn't actually about Ramen at all. Fooled you, didn't I. It's about my personal staple, lazy burritos! Conversely, lazy stir fry! They're... well, they're pretty much the same when you get right down to it, which is a basic formula for using whatever you have to make a meal that is more nourishing, healthier, and way less salty than Ramen. Probably costs about the same, once you factor in the costs of adding chicken and veggies to your noodles.

Actually, this might be a totally and completely redundant post, but I know a lot of landlubbers who spend a whole lot of money on packaged food when it's actually really easy to make awesome food with no recipe; all you have to do is not be scared. Cooking rules are more like guidelines, after all.

The point of this is to use what you have, but you'll probably want to have one of the following:
Rice
Tortillas
If you have both, hooray! Pick one. If you only have one, hey, now you don't have to decide what to make. Win win.

So now go rooting around the fridge and freezer. I personally always keep a bag of frozen veggies on hand. As much as it's probably better to eat fresh, it's just so handy and cheap to have frozen. Especially since I do try and eat organic/local. There's a trade-off there, especially in the winter.

So I defrost my veggies and I add whatever else I can find. Seriously. If I have fresh veggies, yay! Chop them up. Pretty much any kind of leftovers except desserts will probably be great.  If I have meat, I'll toss that in a pan and cook it up with some spices, then add the frosty veggies. If I have beans, I'll soak those and cook them, unless I'm in a hurry in which case I probably won't bother. Canned beans do well here, though they're pretty salty a lot of the time. If I have cheese, I'll generally add it to the beans so it's nice and gooey and delicious.

Pretty much the only difference is in the spices at this point.

Stir Fry: Ginger, soy sauce, teriyaki sauce, garlic, lime juice/lime zest (any kind of citrus really),
              sesame seeds, rice wine vinegar
Burrito-fajita: paprika, cumin, chili powder, garlic, lime or lemon juice/zest, cilantro, cheese, salsa
Or whatever else you think would be good! I've even used a spoonful of pumpkin butter in stir fry. The key is to taste often. If you don't know if it will taste good, take a large spoon or a spatula and take some of the veggie-meat mix out of the pan. Add a small amount of whatever you wanted to add, and taste it. Don't burn yourself.

Remember to cook your rice, or warm your burrito before you wrap it. I just put it over the pan of veggies like a lid after I turn off the heat, and let it sit for a few seconds.
Anyway, there you have it. A possibly redundant post about scrounging together food to make a meal. It's pretty scaleable, too - you can make a little or enough for a week.


Achievement: Wrap that burrito like a pro! 

 

If you have awesome skills like me, you'll probably end up with something like this:

Well crap. Wait! I know how to fix it!

Much better. Enjoy! You may also want a fork.

Day 1: Do a Load of Dishes.

Today, I did a load of dishes. You don’t know how proud I am. In fact, I probably shouldn’t even be trying to convey how proud I am that I did the dishes, because if you began to grasp the magnitude of my giddy self-appreciation, you would be overcome with a sense of pity so strong that your head might explode. And if your head didn’t explode, you would be overcome with laughter so loud that I’d be able to hear it through the internet and then I’d have to hunt you down and stab you to regain my pride.

So probably best you don’t know.

If you are anything like me, your galley (see what I did there? I’m so incredibly clever) is still reeling from a weekend of Cards Against Humanity, drinking, waffles, mimosas, and coming home from a Fetish Party at 4 am to collapse with a hangover and not move at all on Sunday. You’re not quite that that much like me? Well, insert whatever in the space. Point is, do your damn dishes. Get to it. I’ll wait.

Achievement: If you have a friend that is a neat freak, invite him over and get him drunk. Turns out you will be unable to stop him from feverishly scrubbing the kitchen at 2:30 am. Your mileage may vary. Of course, then you have to stop making messes, or it’ll be dirty by the end of the weekend. Your mileage on this may also vary.

In Which Formats are Discussed, and We Get This Sucker Going.

Yarr, big vast internet and constituency of zero. Happy Monday. So I’m giving some thought to how I want to deal with my little corner of plunder and mayhem. I think I’ll probably be doing a daily “tip” ala Urban Riding Tips, just in case someone is actually interested in following along with my rum-fueled progress at cleaning up. Like a reverse 12-step program. Or not. Also I’ll try to be funny.

Then on Tuesdays or Thursdays there will be an “In Which” post about whatever I’m thinking about that week, goals, dreams, aspirations… no? Swashbuckling, cursing, drinking? That’s better, isn’t it.

Yeah, I thought so. Oh you, potential constituency.

Why Tuesday or Thursday, you ask? Wouldn’t Monday be a much better day for stating a theme, and then the rest of the posts could be nice tie-ins that go with that theme? Well for one, I’m not a fan of rules that make sense. Or even guidelines that make sense.

For another, I do actually have a bit of a job now (gasp!) that involves disappointingly little sailing, and rather more sitting on the computer and sometimes answering a phone than I would like. Said job is on Tuesdays and Thursdays, so I’ll be using that enforced internet to post more in-depth. Except today, I guess. See what I meant about rules?

Also there might be pictures someday. That’d be cool. Let’s shoot for that.

In Which Glynnis Expresses Frustration at the Resources Available

So why write a blog that other people can see? I’m cleaning house. It’s not that interesting. But here’s the thing about keeping house, cleaning up, cooking, organizing, and all that stuff. Most of the resources available are just so darn inspiring.

They’re beautiful collections of snippets and tips about storing things in mason jars  and specialty cakes and beautifully manicured rooms.

Or they’re really nifty mom-blogs by very helpful and wonderful moms, full of beautiful things and lovely babies. (More examples as I remember the ones I’ve stumbled across)

First off, let me be clear: they are amazing, and take tons of hard work, and I love looking at beautiful pictures of inspiring food/houses/children/crafts, and hearing awesome stories of women that are making their lives work.

But I am 22 years old and I’ve lost my way. I am on hiatus from school, unmarried to my cohabitant, living with other room mates, dirt poor, and to top it all off, should be on medication (according to doctors, anyway. Phh.)

And furthermore, I have a hunch I’m not the only one (though that may be just the voices).

So although I absolutely adore beautiful blogs full of wonderful crafts and beautifully composed pictures, there are many days where “inspiration” leaves me feeling woefully inadequate and full of mushy mess.

The kinds of days where I want to know what to do when I put a Coke in the freezer for a few minutes, and found what was left of it two days later. Or how to recover from the day that I have a hangover and don’t feel like dealing with the mess my friends left… and so on.

In Which Glynnis Decides to Keep Herself Busy

Once there was a pirate named Glynnis Bloodbath the Dread. She grew up believing that strong women lacked knowledge of "womanly" things (it's a running gag in fantasy fiction, after all, that adventurous women can't cook!)

Then she took a much-needed break from Pirate Academy and found herself in an economy where the only pirates left ran corporations or sat in Congress, and nobody needed a freelance buccaneer anymore. And so she fell into a rut of video games, staring into space despondently, and generally feeling badly about herself.

She even put her sword away, to the dismay of her Male Compatriot.

He was very understanding, if not naturally very neat (pirates and their Compatriots generally aren't), and did his best not to mention to Glynnis that she'd been unemployed for several months now, and he had school and work and was doing all the cooking. (The cleaning just didn't get done, but that was no surprise, as neither of them had cleaned much of anything in the year and a half they'd been cohabitating.)

And so life went for several months until one day Glynnis was lounging in bed (she felt she had the right, since she'd had 3 interviews that week, with no results) muttering about everything. "I hate my life. I hate this game. I hate this bed, I hate my pajamas. I hate this room." Well, the last bit was unsurprising.

A Companion Cube is an important part of any pirate slob lair.

No, Glynnis and her Compatriot were not moving in; they'd been living in that room for six months, almost exactly. As she stared resentfully at the room, it slowly occurred to her that, while she could not control the job market, and she could not control feeling upset and down, she could maybe control her environment. And maybe she could make sure that Male Compatriot could concentrate on school and work.

"But then I would be a housewife," she mused aloud, "and that is the one thing I swore that I would avoid at all costs!"

"Really Glynnis," she reproached herself in turn, "This place is disgusting. Probably unsanitary. And you do have a lot of free time. Will you continue to do nothing for a point of pride, when you could keep yourself busy and make your own life better at the same time?"

"Well, when you put it that way..." Glynnis told herself grudgingly.

"But I don't know the first thing about all this stuff. I was always a pirate!"

"Well, now you aren't."

"Where will I begin?" For she had made several half-hearted attempts - New Year's Resolutions, promises to her parents, etc - to 'become a clean person' in the past, and did not have much hope now.

"Begin by doing whatever catches your eye first. And then just keep going," came the answer. Glynnis looked around reproachfully to see who might be using her voice, but it seemed that she had really thought of that on her own.

"Keep a public journal, so you have accountability."

"But what if no one knows?"

"You'll know. Don't interrupt."

"...sorry..."

"Take small steps. Take it slow. Document your experiments. You can do it if you try."

And so she did.